Well, I survived the Christmas holiday, and in all one piece, mind you. No small task, rest assured.
It wasn't as bad as I had imagined. Very glad J is back in Florida til April.
:-)
Will address the specific concerns of his well-being, both mental and physical, in the next post.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Walking on eggshells
Well, we are 1/2 way thru the visit. Surprisingly, after a rocky start, it has smoothed out pretty well. Sticking to my plan of being nice and polite, but keeping my distance. It has been alright. There have been some tense moments, but nothing like it used to be.
Still holding my breath til 12/30, when he returns home.
But, breathing much easier that it has gone better than I anticipated.
Phew.
Still holding my breath til 12/30, when he returns home.
But, breathing much easier that it has gone better than I anticipated.
Phew.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Breathe In....Breathe out.....
ACK!! He will be arriving in a few scant hours..if that. His plane landed about 10 minutes ago, if all went according to plan.
Returning to my breathing exercises now....
Returning to my breathing exercises now....
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Time is short
Christmas is coming. J Jr. will be here in a scant week. Blood pressure is rising, tensions are building between myself and husband over this. I am worried that he is so excited to see his son after 6 months, that he doesn't fully remember his true behaviors. In addition, we also learned from P that he is off all of his medications due to sky high cholesterol ( he's 12!!). Fabulous! Thankfully, J has an escape plan of sorts, limiting our exposure to him. Ugh. Not excited or looking forward to this at all. And feeling very conflicted as it is a sore spot between J and I. I don't want to be responsible for tainting this reunion, but I have gone into self-preservation mode and literally counting the HOURS I have to be with him. I hope I am completely wrong, and he has made some miraculous breakthrough and is a "good kid" again. But I know that isn't going to happen. I will put on my happy face, be tolerant. And just escape when I need to. He will be out of state for the bulk of the time, one-on-one with his father. Guilt cannot cover how bad I feel about that, that J needs to get out of state with him just to avoid any conflicts with me, the psychiatrist happy, drug pushing, domineering step monster. But, hey, I am going to protect myself and my son.
Will let you know how it turns out. Surely I will have some new material by then!
Will let you know how it turns out. Surely I will have some new material by then!
Friday, November 7, 2008
Epitomy of Ignorance
So comes November-especially this November, since it is K.'s 16th birthday. Traditionally a huge milestone for young ladies. J has been racking his brain trying to come up with something that she will enjoy, use, and remember. (Not easy when she appreciates or respects nothing, and has no emotional attachments to anything) But I digress.
P calls J yesterday (Friday) to ask J to send money down ASAP because K's friend from up here is coming down, and they are taking K to Disney World (it is a family vacation, and K is about an hour away). J said he would happily split the cost with P of this adventure. When is it? TOMORROW!!! J said there is no way money is going to get down there by tomorrow. Why wasn't he told of this ahead of time? He could have sent money down. P informed him she ASSUMED her friends family was going to pay her way for the day at Disney!!
To quote the immortal Forrest Gump: Stupid is as Stupid does.
Dumb ass.
P calls J yesterday (Friday) to ask J to send money down ASAP because K's friend from up here is coming down, and they are taking K to Disney World (it is a family vacation, and K is about an hour away). J said he would happily split the cost with P of this adventure. When is it? TOMORROW!!! J said there is no way money is going to get down there by tomorrow. Why wasn't he told of this ahead of time? He could have sent money down. P informed him she ASSUMED her friends family was going to pay her way for the day at Disney!!
To quote the immortal Forrest Gump: Stupid is as Stupid does.
Dumb ass.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
I got nothin'...
and quite happy about it.
:-)
We'll talk of the Christmas visit stress later. It seems so wrong to dwell on those things which are out of my control, and worry about things that may not even happen, at that. C'est la vie.
:-)
We'll talk of the Christmas visit stress later. It seems so wrong to dwell on those things which are out of my control, and worry about things that may not even happen, at that. C'est la vie.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
The Proverbial BUT...
OK, it's a given. I really, honestly, and truly love my hubby, J. He has so many wonderful qualities, I would use up all of Blogger's free space listing them all. Hard working, good provider,faithful, honest, blah blah blah.
BUT..there is one thing that drives me positively ape shit. I have known, from almost the minute we met, how important music is to him. He plays guitars. He possess' MANY (to the tune of 17!) guitars. Fine. I can handle that. He has always had "band camp", usually once a week, to go jam with the guys in the band. I can handle that. Somewhat recently, he has hooked up with a new group of guys that are all great, have families, full time jobs, etc. I am completely aware of what a valuable outlet it is for all of them to just let it go and have a good jam session (while deafening themselves in the process). BUT...these are the most disorganized buffoons around. Wednesday night is standard band camp night. Sometimes they will go for weeks without having practice due to other obligations. Then, suddenly, as soon as J comes home from work on Wednesdays at 6:30, he lets me know that band camp is defiantly on for tonight at 7pm. This sucks for many,many, many reasons. First, and most importantly, O is going thru a "Daddy only" phase where mommy can do nothing right, can't comfort him the right way, can't change his diaper, can't read the book, can't *insert whatever reason here* right. So, being the mommy that I am, I point this out to J saying "can't you guys just get a calendar in front of you saying yes this Wednesday, but xyz can't do 3 Wednesday's from now because of a baseball tournament, and the 3rd Wednesday in October I have to drive my parents to the airport" etc.? HE GAVE ME THE HAIRY EYEBALL FOR SUGGESTING SUCH A PROCESS. HE. GAVE. ME. THE. HAIRY. EYEBALL. He then proceeded to tell me he feels the same way when I have to go my 2nd very part time job on Sundays (Which, by the way, brings in extra $$ for little work AND I haven't been in over a month since I had my wrist surgery). So, you can only imagine. The hairy eyeballs were flying back and forth.
Am I being unreasonable? I can take the critism, honest. Is it too much to ask to have some notice? And not leave everything to the last minute? I told him I have been getting really used to our schedule, without all the last minute changes and this is the last thing that needs to be arranged. Again, I have no problem with him having bandcamp, I would just like to know WHEN he has it. It makes planning dinner much easier. And many other things, but dinner is a biggie, whether to hold it for him, or skip it. (When he has camp, O and I indulge in chicken pot pies because J doesn't like them)
SO, I made him change O's stinky diaper before he left for bandcamp. He is, after all, the only one who can do it right. Hmph. I'll give you a hairy eyeball.
BUT..there is one thing that drives me positively ape shit. I have known, from almost the minute we met, how important music is to him. He plays guitars. He possess' MANY (to the tune of 17!) guitars. Fine. I can handle that. He has always had "band camp", usually once a week, to go jam with the guys in the band. I can handle that. Somewhat recently, he has hooked up with a new group of guys that are all great, have families, full time jobs, etc. I am completely aware of what a valuable outlet it is for all of them to just let it go and have a good jam session (while deafening themselves in the process). BUT...these are the most disorganized buffoons around. Wednesday night is standard band camp night. Sometimes they will go for weeks without having practice due to other obligations. Then, suddenly, as soon as J comes home from work on Wednesdays at 6:30, he lets me know that band camp is defiantly on for tonight at 7pm. This sucks for many,many, many reasons. First, and most importantly, O is going thru a "Daddy only" phase where mommy can do nothing right, can't comfort him the right way, can't change his diaper, can't read the book, can't *insert whatever reason here* right. So, being the mommy that I am, I point this out to J saying "can't you guys just get a calendar in front of you saying yes this Wednesday, but xyz can't do 3 Wednesday's from now because of a baseball tournament, and the 3rd Wednesday in October I have to drive my parents to the airport" etc.? HE GAVE ME THE HAIRY EYEBALL FOR SUGGESTING SUCH A PROCESS. HE. GAVE. ME. THE. HAIRY. EYEBALL. He then proceeded to tell me he feels the same way when I have to go my 2nd very part time job on Sundays (Which, by the way, brings in extra $$ for little work AND I haven't been in over a month since I had my wrist surgery). So, you can only imagine. The hairy eyeballs were flying back and forth.
Am I being unreasonable? I can take the critism, honest. Is it too much to ask to have some notice? And not leave everything to the last minute? I told him I have been getting really used to our schedule, without all the last minute changes and this is the last thing that needs to be arranged. Again, I have no problem with him having bandcamp, I would just like to know WHEN he has it. It makes planning dinner much easier. And many other things, but dinner is a biggie, whether to hold it for him, or skip it. (When he has camp, O and I indulge in chicken pot pies because J doesn't like them)
SO, I made him change O's stinky diaper before he left for bandcamp. He is, after all, the only one who can do it right. Hmph. I'll give you a hairy eyeball.
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