Walking on eggshells

Well, we are 1/2 way thru the visit. Surprisingly, after a rocky start, it has smoothed out pretty well. Sticking to my plan of being nice and polite, but keeping my distance. It has been alright. There have been some tense moments, but nothing like it used to be.
Still holding my breath til 12/30, when he returns home.
But, breathing much easier that it has gone better than I anticipated.
Phew.

Breathe In....Breathe out.....

ACK!! He will be arriving in a few scant hours..if that. His plane landed about 10 minutes ago, if all went according to plan.

Returning to my breathing exercises now....

Time is short

Christmas is coming. J Jr. will be here in a scant week. Blood pressure is rising, tensions are building between myself and husband over this. I am worried that he is so excited to see his son after 6 months, that he doesn't fully remember his true behaviors. In addition, we also learned from P that he is off all of his medications due to sky high cholesterol ( he's 12!!). Fabulous! Thankfully, J has an escape plan of sorts, limiting our exposure to him. Ugh. Not excited or looking forward to this at all. And feeling very conflicted as it is a sore spot between J and I. I don't want to be responsible for tainting this reunion, but I have gone into self-preservation mode and literally counting the HOURS I have to be with him. I hope I am completely wrong, and he has made some miraculous breakthrough and is a "good kid" again. But I know that isn't going to happen. I will put on my happy face, be tolerant. And just escape when I need to. He will be out of state for the bulk of the time, one-on-one with his father. Guilt cannot cover how bad I feel about that, that J needs to get out of state with him just to avoid any conflicts with me, the psychiatrist happy, drug pushing, domineering step monster. But, hey, I am going to protect myself and my son.
Will let you know how it turns out. Surely I will have some new material by then!

Epitomy of Ignorance

So comes November-especially this November, since it is K.'s 16th birthday. Traditionally a huge milestone for young ladies. J has been racking his brain trying to come up with something that she will enjoy, use, and remember. (Not easy when she appreciates or respects nothing, and has no emotional attachments to anything) But I digress.

P calls J yesterday (Friday) to ask J to send money down ASAP because K's friend from up here is coming down, and they are taking K to Disney World (it is a family vacation, and K is about an hour away). J said he would happily split the cost with P of this adventure. When is it? TOMORROW!!! J said there is no way money is going to get down there by tomorrow. Why wasn't he told of this ahead of time? He could have sent money down. P informed him she ASSUMED her friends family was going to pay her way for the day at Disney!!

To quote the immortal Forrest Gump: Stupid is as Stupid does.

Dumb ass.

I got nothin'...

and quite happy about it.
:-)

We'll talk of the Christmas visit stress later. It seems so wrong to dwell on those things which are out of my control, and worry about things that may not even happen, at that. C'est la vie.

The Proverbial BUT...

OK, it's a given. I really, honestly, and truly love my hubby, J. He has so many wonderful qualities, I would use up all of Blogger's free space listing them all. Hard working, good provider,faithful, honest, blah blah blah.

BUT..there is one thing that drives me positively ape shit. I have known, from almost the minute we met, how important music is to him. He plays guitars. He possess' MANY (to the tune of 17!) guitars. Fine. I can handle that. He has always had "band camp", usually once a week, to go jam with the guys in the band. I can handle that. Somewhat recently, he has hooked up with a new group of guys that are all great, have families, full time jobs, etc. I am completely aware of what a valuable outlet it is for all of them to just let it go and have a good jam session (while deafening themselves in the process). BUT...these are the most disorganized buffoons around. Wednesday night is standard band camp night. Sometimes they will go for weeks without having practice due to other obligations. Then, suddenly, as soon as J comes home from work on Wednesdays at 6:30, he lets me know that band camp is defiantly on for tonight at 7pm. This sucks for many,many, many reasons. First, and most importantly, O is going thru a "Daddy only" phase where mommy can do nothing right, can't comfort him the right way, can't change his diaper, can't read the book, can't *insert whatever reason here* right. So, being the mommy that I am, I point this out to J saying "can't you guys just get a calendar in front of you saying yes this Wednesday, but xyz can't do 3 Wednesday's from now because of a baseball tournament, and the 3rd Wednesday in October I have to drive my parents to the airport" etc.? HE GAVE ME THE HAIRY EYEBALL FOR SUGGESTING SUCH A PROCESS. HE. GAVE. ME. THE. HAIRY. EYEBALL. He then proceeded to tell me he feels the same way when I have to go my 2nd very part time job on Sundays (Which, by the way, brings in extra $$ for little work AND I haven't been in over a month since I had my wrist surgery). So, you can only imagine. The hairy eyeballs were flying back and forth.
Am I being unreasonable? I can take the critism, honest. Is it too much to ask to have some notice? And not leave everything to the last minute? I told him I have been getting really used to our schedule, without all the last minute changes and this is the last thing that needs to be arranged. Again, I have no problem with him having bandcamp, I would just like to know WHEN he has it. It makes planning dinner much easier. And many other things, but dinner is a biggie, whether to hold it for him, or skip it. (When he has camp, O and I indulge in chicken pot pies because J doesn't like them)

SO, I made him change O's stinky diaper before he left for bandcamp. He is, after all, the only one who can do it right. Hmph. I'll give you a hairy eyeball.

Ain't it just a kick in the pants?

So, adjusting rather well and quickly to life without the kids drama. It was ironic when J was speaking to his kids a few days ago and J Jr. asked when he was coming up to visit this summer? J informed, rather surprised, that he wasn't coming up until Christmas time. J Jr then reiterated what the visitation arrangement was, stating he was supposed to see the kids for up to 2 solid weeks in the summer. J told him that was indeed correct, but at his MOTHER'S request, they stay down in Florida until December to acclimate, and make new friends (both of which they have a terrible time doing). J Jr was quite shocked and confused with that one. ENJOY THE NICE WARM WEATHER IN FLORIDA, BUD!!

In other related news, we keep getting random phone calls from J Jrs. friends, asking if J Jr. is with us, since Mother's phone is disconnected. We have had to inform them that J Jr now lives in Florida. How messed up is that? Not even telling your very small circle of kids that are your friends/can tolerate you that you are moving out of state? MESSED UP.

That is all for now, back to my peace and quiet.

So THIS is what life is supposed to be like!

It has been such a huge relief to be rid of all the drama and stress!! J and I are getting along much better, we have actually had many, many friends drop by (both expected and unexpected!) We are attempting to plan out a very socially packed holiday weekend going here and there. We are making long range plans, J has actually finished a HUGE project I have been dreaming about for years but thought it might just be another wish list thing...

To know that, of course there will be crisis' and drama-that is life. But to not have to deal with it EVERY DAY in EVERY Direction? Perfection.

I am starting to let my guard down a bit, don't feel as defensive on so many levels. It has been down right cathartic. Trying not to dread the holidays, since that is when K and J Jr are scheduled for a weeks visit. Just trying to savor what I have on my plate right now and roll with it.

All's Quiet..

..and it is a beautiful thing.

STOP THE INSANITY!!

Now, presently that statement could apply to a number of situations going on at this very moment. However, since this is about the general craziness with J's kids and ex, I will focus on this form of insanity today. (lucky you!)

K. 15 year old girl. Invited me, for whatever reason to be a friend on her Facebook page. Fine. Strange, but, well, at least it is a way to keep a pinky finger on the pulse of her life and watch from somewhat of a distance. Several weeks ago, she deleted me from her list, with no explanation. Knowing nothing had transpired at all between us, either physically, vocally, or online, I figured maybe it was an accident or something. Send the friend request, she accepted.

Now we come to today. I checked Facebook last night, able to browse thru the photos she posted of her new place in Florida (really quite nice, really out of their league..taking bets as to how long it will take for them to trash it) . Then? this morning? POOF. She was gone again. I am not going to send another friend request or anything like that, I give up. What is so strange is that she is still friends with her father, aunts, uncles..everyone but me. Oh well.

Who needs a friend like that anyway? I'll take the rabid coyote in the backyard instead.

The not so long goodbye..

We all knew it was coming. Obviously, the kids were going to Florida. No big surprise. However, we were conveniently left out of the loop as to WHEN the *ahem* blessed event was going to happen. Well, we found out last night. J Jr, K, and their grandparents showed up (unannounced, of course) and J Jr came in like he was on fire saying he needed to grab a few things.

J followed him around, but J Jr really wasn't having anything to do with him. J finally asked "So, what's the deal?" and J Jr replied, "We are leaving tomorrow morning, BYE." And he ran off into his grandparents car.

That was it. K didn't speak to J or roll down the window, nothing. They just drove off.

After last weeks drama, I thought maybe something a little more dramatic, but I guess I was wrong about that, too. No nothing. And why bother having K come? Just to drive the rusty nail into J's heart a little more? To have her there, but not speak or engage with him at all? And J Jr in a frenzy for no reason?

Thus begins their life, just as their mother does, of running away, not confronting, not speaking about it.

Granted, J has not done everything right in this entire scenario. But he has done absolutely nothing to deserve this treatment he is getting. I hope someday the kids will get that, and just how painful and hurtful they are to him at this particular point in life.

After this happened, J was quite literally, short of breath. Leave it to O to make him smile again. They began horseplaying in the bedroom, and O gave him a spontaeneous hug and an "I love you, Daddy". His response? "At least you love me".

As much as I want to party and hoot and holler and live it up, I can't. J is truly heartbroken. He looks forlorn, lost, and utterly confused.

No one deserves that.

Not exactly what I had in mind for saying goodbye..

It all started innocently enough. J Jr. called J to see if he could swing by to pick up his cell phone charger he forgot. Little did we know that that was merely a ruse to commence an all out ambush assault on J.

P was driving her mother's car, and inside were J Jr, K , and K's new boyfriend. Introduction was "J, this is my boyfriend, M-can I talk to you outside for a minute?" So, off they went to the back yard. J Jr went running upstairs to get whatever he wanted, and M (the boyfriend) tried unsuccessfully to look busy. Since I was never introduced to him (even tho I was 3 feet away when the awkward introduction occurred). After a few minutes, everyone was once again congregated in the livingroom. J Jr. started in with the verbal assualt immediately saying that J threw away all his Transformers, and that was his "childhood" that he threw away, and he deserves COMPENSATION for the PAIN AND SUFFERING we caused him~ And, he AIN'T leaving until J writes him a check! K started in with wanting compensation because we tossed her beloved Barbies and they were "COLLECTIBLES" (along with the Disney VHS' we got rid of, that we had no idea how important they were..we only learned how important they were since they were worth $$-NOT!!) Anyway, they all were standing on the front deck, screaming and berating J for ruining their childhood because of these things! UM.. the fact that your FUCKING cunt of a mother left and abandoned you has NOTHING to do with this?? I guess not.

The very idea of them screaming at J saying "You owe me!" "Give me the computer if you aren't going to write a check" "Give me the Sega/Playstation if you AIN'T going to write a check" is dispicable in the least. GOOD FUCKING JOB, P! You have raised and brainwashed kids to be nearly as greedy, sneaky, low down, and hypocritical, JUST LIKE YOU!

J Jr then made a physical threat against J. J escorted him by controlled force (hand on shoulder, pushing him back to the car)and told him to get off his property, as he is irrational and there will be no more talking of this. And the whole time? P is standing at the car, with a smug ass grin on her fucking bridge troll face, beaming with pride at her "babies".

J is understandably distraught at the whole situation, and how exactly it got this bad. It is time for them to go, and it has been so hard for J to reconcile all of this. They need to expereince the full brunt of their mothers irresponsiblity and recklessness, and complete ineptitude for themselves. Maybe with proper help, in a few years they may see things differently. Maybe not.

Only time will tell.

And then there was light..

Today J & P finally agreed to terms in which she can move the kids down to Florida as soon as the school year is over. That is a matter of days.

Inside, I am rejoicing, wanting to have a huge party and just want to bust out the paint and redo J Jr's room. But, also inside, my heart is breaking for J. Father's day is next weekend.This will be the 1st year ever he isn't with them. I know he is struggling to reconcile this within himself, telling himself he needed to step aside and hope that in the future things can be different. But, he is still their father and I honestly don't know if some of the damage can be fixed. It is so deep, and cuts thru the very soul. I know he is viewing this as yet ANOTHER loss in such a short time. It is hard to convince him it isn't.

And I'm not so sure it isn't the biggest loss yet.

Knock Knock! Whose there? Immaturity!~

OK- I know I am the adult, they are the children. However, K recently invited me to join a rather popular social website. Fine. Figured what harm, right? So, all is well. There is minimal communication..just playing games, sending her flowers, whatever. No biggie. Then, suddenly this weekend, she disappears from my friends list. So, I email people who are on both of our friends list to ask if she disappeared from theirs. Nope. So, I go into their friends list, and click on her profile, hoping to send a message. Maybe a technical glitch? Who knows. I was informed that she is still on their lists. So, I click on her, and of course, you have to be considered her "friend" to view her profile. So, I send a friend request to K, asking to please elaborate on what I have done/said/thought/did/didn't do to upset her this time.

I know I am just typing to dead air, as she won't reply. The most recent interaction we had was when she showed up in what I would deem by far the most inappropriate outfit I have seen anyone in (unless you work in a red light district, in France, in the 1800's). And found out she went to a school function dressed like that. ALL I SAID WAS "That is quite a get-up!" and I SMILED as I said it. That would be it.

Anyway, just bothering me that no matter what I do or don't do, I just can't get it right and it is always my fault. I AM DONE. Can I legally divorce my step children??

UPDATE:UPDATE:UPDATE:::: J let me know that P stopped by his work today, and said that K told her that I said "she was a bad daughter" thus, my deletion. J actually stood up for me and told her he has been present at EVERY SINGLE conversation I have had with her and never said anything remotely like that and that K IS LYING.

It may not be alot of justice, but at least it is something.

So much for a peaceful Sunday..

Today, we really don't have much to do except J&O need haircuts, and go to the Dump. J Jr puts up a huge fight because a. he doesn't need a haircut, and B. he hates going to the dump (mind you, he never actually gets out of the truck to help J unload things, he just sits his ass in the back seat playing his friggin' hand held video game. It was a fine a.m. until it was brought up he IS going because he isn't (or as he insists on saying AIN'T) staying at this house alone.

Can't he just leave already?

The Mysterious MOTHRA Reappears!

P is back. And in full swing.She has called J several times, asking if he has come up with what type of visitation he wants. J has told her that he will call her when he wants to meet with her. Tonight, she really tried to make him feel guilty about it! She indicated that she really "needs to get the ball going" because the Drs want to do surgery on BFM and they won't do it unless she is there to take care of him (?? Florence Nightengale complex, anyone!) Anyway, J is staying strong, and told her that is not his concern and something she needs to deal with, without involving him.
Now THAT's where the backbone has been for the past 2 years! Hiding!
*Pft*

What are those bells?

THEY ARE THE BELLS OF FREEDOM!!! Just got word that P. is flying in tomorrow!! that means J Jr. will be GONE TOMORROW!!! My lovely stepmother always used to say to me: "You can do anything as long as you know when it will end"...24 hours and counting!! TICK TOCK TICK TOCK!!

Passive Aggressive Master

So, tonight upon returning to the abode, J Jr notices a shirt O has on. It says "Grandfathers are like Dads, without the Rules". Cute. Fine. J Jr proceeds to ask me if that shirt saying is referring to HIS grandfather( P's father), whom is called Puppa. I said " You mean M?(grandfathers name) for O? you mean YOUR grandfather?" He says, absolutely straight faced and looking slightly confused as to why I would question him. I said "NO, Grandfather as is MY father, Pops. YOU'RE grandfather is of no relation or concern of O's."

Now where is that big ass bottle of red wine Ms. JBM gave me for my birthday?

Now..can someone tell me where I left...

the RAT POISON??? I have been informed by Those who Know These Things that J Jr doesn't want to go to Florida now!!?? He is apprehensive about leaving the only placce he has ever known. Understandable for a normal child. But TOO FUCKING LATE for him. I will strap you to my roof racks with bungi cords and drive you down there myself.

I really just want this day to day drama over.

Living with the Enemy

Ugh. How am I going to get the this time where J Jr is to be under my roof, with no real end in sight? He is trying, draining, and downright annoying. I am not to say anything about his behaviour,not doing homework, no structured routine or bedtime...and I have to do that in the name of self-preservation. I am free to say anything I wish, however I must weigh the pro's and cons. If I say something, I open up my life to anger and hostility. If I don't say anything, it will fester and explode.
No idea where to go with this...Trying to focus on anything and everything else, but it is hard because he is so in your face all the time.

Can you hear that? It is the fat lady, singing

Don't have much energy left..has been completely sapped in all that has transpired in the past 48 hours.

Had the G.A.L. home inspection today, went well. J had a talk with the kids after and told them he is letting them go, we have taken this thing as far as we can and they have made it abundantly and painfully clear they want to go. Funny, K didn't seem that happy/relieved/stressed about it. O FUCKING WELL. Careful what you wish for sweetie..you just may get it.

So, now the only thing that remains is calling the lawyer, figuring out when visitation is going to be, and rework the child support.

I can't wait to live my life without this hanging over my every thought again.

Freak show

Well, court sucked. Somehow we became the incompetant, babbling, drooling, root of all evil bad guys. Quite literally. I am a "monster", I am "mean" because I make a then 13 year old clean out the litter box 1 time a week. Hitler & Mussolini WHO? They have nothing on me. The accusations that I heard that came from their mouthes were terrible. I have never been so shaken, unnerved, and rocked to my very soul. I know the step mother is always the easiest target especially when they have been as vocal as I have in the past about the help they need, the routine and discipline they required. And their 2 natural parents are probably the most passive parents I have ever encountered.

I was completely and totally thrown to the wolves on this one. I should have expected it more, I guess. But, then again, I thought I might be dealing with people who have a shred of integrity between them. WRONG AGAIN! Also, interestingly, I found out that I am the cause of all the problems in their life. Not the fact that their mother abandoned them, made promises she couldn't keep, lied to them, no no no. It';s all me. And you know what? I can put my head on my pillow every night and know I did the best I could at the time with what I thought I knew. Did I make all the right choices and do the right things all the time? Hell no. Did I apologize and change my ways? Yep. Is that little fact remembered? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA -no.

We were told by the G.A.L. that she is pretty sure in her mind she is going to allow the move. So, J and I spoke last night, and think we are ready to put a period at the end of this freak show. Enough is enough. The past 2 plus years we have been focused on what is best for J Jr & K, and now it is time to focus on what is best for US. Our marriage has suffered, our egos are shattered, and I fear some of this crap will somehow have a lasting effect on O. I hope not, but time will tell.

Monday Morning Blues

We have the emergency custody hearing at 10 am tomorrow morning. Oy.
Will certainly let you know how it turns out...

Adrenaline Junkie

Y'know..I think it is safe to say that anyone who knows me in real life would classify me as that. I am the one who is pleading with (most) of her friends to go on the roller coasters, all the scary rides that tip you upside down, spin you around, and spit you out. I am all for that. But I discovered today there is a GOOD adrenaline (see above) and a BAD adrenaline. (Keep reading.)

This morning our attorney filed an emergency custody hearing to have the children placed back with us. All set to go for 2pm. Our attorney is going for it all-have her pay child support, give us full legal custody, everything. Then we weren't going. Then it was back on. Then it was tomorrow. But now it isn't until Monday because THERE ARE NO JUDGES TO HEAR THE CASE.

Correct me if I am wrong, but HELLO?? This is an EMERGENCY. Don't you think there should be a judge "on call" specifically for this type of thing???

O.M.G.

Well, J called the attorney today and he strongly advised him to not say a word to P or either of the kids. Tomorrow there may be an emergency custody hearing returning the kids to us in lieu of her absence.

I wonder what her motives are? (as I wonder about everything she does/says anyway) WHY, in the midst of a massive and ugly custody battle would you EVER leave the state? Without notifying anyone?? She just opened the door for J in a big way. I mean for Christ's sake, the G.A.L. is meeting with the kids THIS WEEK, and we have our home inspection next week. WHY on earth would you just up and leave without saying anything? And to be gone "a few weeks????" Surely, that isn't going to improve her position with the courts.

Even if you aren't a religious, say a prayer for all of us.

PS- tomorrow is P's birthday..wouldn't that be a fab birthday gift for her? Getting your kids taken away due to you arrogance/ignorance/recklessness?

Just a quickie...

Latest developements:

1 1/2 weeks ago, P left to go be with her husband, BFM, as he injured his back in FL. We were informed of this by the kids, NOT P.

P called J yesterday and let him know she will be gone "a few weeks maybe"..A FEW WEEKS??? This entire time, the kids have been with their grandparents, and have been quite vocal that they despise living there. So...today J is going to call his attorney to see what can be done, and get the kids under our roof until P returns. Should be interesting since K will not want to be here, and we will probably have to drag her kicking and screaming, y'know, because we are the epitomy of bad people.

Christ, life needs to provide some frickin' seatbelts.

We're going to have a visitor...

The G.A.L. wants to conduct a home inspection, with children present, next week! Needs to be on Monday or Tuesday, since we are leaving for Maine on Wednesday.
Let the cleaning frenzy begin!!! (note: not that my house is filthy, just a tad cluttered and needs to be spruced up a bit. NOT. PANICKING.)

GRRRR~~

So J tells me he got a call from J Jr's psych consultant..she started ripping him because J Jr told her he didn't give him his medication this weekend!! So, she naturally called to question him about it, and J insisted he did, and I was his witness to EVERY medication dose.

J picked up J Jr last night and questioned him as to WHY he would say such a thing? The answer was "oh, I forgot". ARGH!!!

So, the next time he comes over, for every time he is due to get meds, J Jr is going to initial a chart that indicates and makes him recognize when he took it.

Asshat.

And.....EXHALE...

Made it thru a fairly peaceful weekend with J Jr. The new medication he is on seems to really be helping him (altho, if you ask him, it isn't doing anything). His volume control seems to be in check, and he is still J Jr, just down a few notches.

Now I am going to do some much needed spring cleaning to work off all the jitters I had while he was here, just waiting for some confrontration/outburst/nastiness...

Mr. Mailman

Isn't that the song? "O Mr. Mailman, won't you please blah blah blah?" Anyway, I have come to the realization that P has a unique hobby. It is sending certified mail. Maybe she is having a lurid affair with the postman, and has a fetish with stamps.

Without fail, almost every week since P was ordered back to MA, she has sent J a certified letter. Granted, they are all receipts for prescriptions, copays and the such. Very valid reasons. But it completely cracks me up that it must be certified, return receipt, need your thumb print to verify who you are to sign for this important correspondence. The one from today? He owes $42.50. It cost $5.38 to send. Ever heard of a scanner? OH THAT's RIGHT!! You don't HAVE your own computer because it is down in FLORIDA! Der, S. Der.

Anyway, that is today's little venitilicious observations.

Oh, on a side note? This is supposed to be our weekend with J Jr (since K won't come over because she is just SO MAD at J, but, of course, will never discuss it with him& even after he tries to initiate a conversation about the situation) and I am waiting with baited breath to see if he CHOOSES to come over since he hasn't come here since J &P brought him to a psychiatrist...and he won't come over because J won't let him play video games. I've been getting used to the quiet, not walking on egg shells, and actually spending the weekends at home doing things, not looking for any excuse to get out.

Birthday blow out

So tomorrow is J's birthday. He wanted so desperately for K & J Jr to come to a dinner and cake celelbration tonight. K never bothered to return any of his calls or emails to tell him she couldn't come. J Jr initially said yes, then today he TEXTED him he wasn't feeling well. This kid hasn't been sick in YEARS. I am so hurt and pissed. And I know EXACTLY why- tomorrow is P's day with the G.A.L. and I am sure she pulled the "I am so nervous and I just want to be with you.." bull shit. How do I know? That is just the way she is.

Fucking cow.

Whatever the outcome of this is, I feel good knowing that those ingrates, ahem, I mean Children, were invited to every single function in our lives, and they declined for whatever their reasons are. I hope they remember that. That is all I have to hang on to. I know they are just kids, but JEEZ. They won't cut J a break at any turn, and everything in the world is HIS fault. And I am very aware alot of their reaction is that abandoned child syndrome that they know J won't go anywhere, he is solid, etc. but because P left, they cannot upset her, or she will leave.

I think that may be the best option.
Anyone know anyone with some mafia connections?

The fat lady has sung...

On Tuesday morning I was FINALLY able to meet with the court appointed G.A.L. As stressful as it was , it was an even bigger relief. I was able to tell my story from the beginning, right up until the present. To be able to speak freely, give my perceptions, insights, and take on events was a true gift. Granted, I do that to all of you, my friends and family, but to someone who can actually impact and effect this entire situation?
Who needs a wrapped birthday gift when I got what I've really wanted for so long?
:-)

In today's episode...

We need to flash back to Monday. J and P had a very frank meeting with J Jr's team of teachers. In a nutshell, due to his deep emotional disturbance, they fear for the safety of the other students and themselves. You see, this has been precipitous. Over the years, his behavioral outbursts has increased, his acting out has increased. He has many different diagnosis'. ADHD, O.D.D., mild Turret's, and it was confirmed some type of mood disorder, but no professional will put a label on it because of his age. I think it is bipolar. Another contributing factor to this fiasco is he had a very young exposure to video games (and we aren't talking Pac Man) and has always walked a very fine line between reality and video games. I always thought that was a load of rubbish psychologists came up with. Until I saw it with my own eyes.

The week prior to the meeting, J Jr had not liked what another student had said to him. So, in the middle of passing in the halls, J Jr SCREAMS " I'll kill you someday!". To the student. In full hallways. He was immediately suspended.

At this meeting, P remained silent. J did all the talking, coming up with courses of actions, listening to the teachers, filling them in on the behavior we have observed in our home. P has been telling the school for months that she was getting J Jr help, and (SURPRISE!) never followed thru because she was LYING. The school were at their wits end with her. According to J, that was quite apparent at the meeting. The next day, Tuesday, J Jr had a scheduled appointment at our local psych center for a Psychiatric Eval. J and I had gone over a list of all of his worrisome behavior and ended up having 2 pages full of things. P? She was silent. Until it came to J mentioning that J Jr has some form of eating disorder. That is when she piped up saying when he is with HER, he eats all good foods. You know what? Not buying that anymore, shithead. A child does not DOUBLE his weight in 1 years times by eating roasted chicken and salads. Whenever he was here, he would only eat cheeseburger subs, hotdogs or pancakes. When we went to my parents house for any holiday occasion? He ate biscuits. That's it. No ham, no turkey, no mashed potatoes, no veggies..just biscuits. But NOOOOOO, no problem there, right? Ugh. Whatever.

So, Tuesday night comes along. J Jr called J as he was on his way to pick him up. J Jr starts lambasting J because "Mom told him he was going to take away his video games" (something that was said between the parents and the Dr at the psych center). So, J says "fine, if you are going to continue to act like this, I don't want you over." End of story. Until.....

Today. This is our weekend. J Jr informed J that he has no intention of coming over since the only reason he ever did was because he could have access to some video games. I know this crushes J. I know that, and feel so badly.

Me?? I am thrilled. I can't stand the sound of the little fuckers voice.


It totally sucks that J is stepping up, trying to do what is right by his kids, whether they agree with him or not. What makes this beyond tragic is that P TELLS the children EVERYTHING that is said, and uses it against John. Makes me ill thinking what she is doing to them. What little chance they may have had in life is being evaporated so quickly under her "care".

Introduction

This is a safe haven. This blog was created to allow a safe place to let those-who-need-to-know view what the hell is going on in this crazy life I am drifting thru.

My husband, J, was previously married to P. They have 2 children together, K (15 years old) and J Jr (12 years old). We are in the midst of a very nasty custody dispute. P has been a force to be reckoned with in the past 3 years, and has made our previously peaceful life into pure chaos. May she rot in hell loudly. And painfully.

She was an absent mother who abandoned her children in 2001 to "be young again" because they had the children so young. So, she went out, cavorted about with a married man who was a DJ at the local drinking hole. Then, she dropped him to hook up with BFM. Within a week, she moved in with him. They soon married (without our knowledge, or including the kids).

Time passes, she is still for the most part absent. It is quite literally like pulling teeth to get her to see the kids on any type of regular schedule. If J asked her to watch them for a specific, important reason, she would readily agree. It was anyone's guess if she would actually ever follow thru. She wouldn't show up, be incredibly late, and rarely, she would make it on time.

In 2005 is when all the crap started flying. J's mother died unexpectedly. Then, within a month, his grandfather passed. In that very short period of 30 days, she filed for full custody. And thus begins the saga. She was denied thru the court system twice as she was too "unstable" (court's word, not mine). We came up with a new way to live, that included her. BIG MISTAKE. She slowly, and connivingly, started brain washing the kids against us. This is not my paranormal fantasy, this is the truth. Despite the court saying no twice, she persisted. Then the kids really got into the battle. They started with "I want to live with Mommy" shit. It made our lives horrible and chaotic. Finally, in 2006, J. agreed for the sake of our marriage and lives, to let them go with her, even against the courts decision.

Since 2006, the kids have taken a nosedive. They are both failing school, personal hygiene is not a priority, P lets K's boyfriend from California stay with them (THEY ARE 15!!!), etc. etc...

Then, this year, J was informed P wants to move the kids to FLorida. She did so without permission from J or the courts. She is in Deep shit, so to speak. We are now in the process of seeing a guardian ad liteum, and praying for the best. Whatever the best may be. OUr options are this:

1. P gets to move the kids to Florida.
2. P gets to retain custody, but must stay in MA.
3. P loses custody, and the kids live with us.

I have no idea what the best outcome will be. The fact is there are so many problems that exist between me and J Jr, J and K...it will be an incredible shock to our lives, whatever the outcome may be.
SO, here is where the story will play out.

God help us all.